Word choice
Helpful ways to talk to newer human beings about their behavior and to talk to yourself about your writing
The “good job”/ “I’m proud of you” debate rages on1. I’m interested in how much of the discussion seems to be about how your child will receive your language, when also using language has an effect on the speaker: you kind of train your brain to see things a different way. In the “good job”/ “I’m proud of you” example, by meeting your child’s behavior with descriptions - “You stacked the blocks!” - you train your brain to not see everything your child does as something you have to manage, rate, approve or disapprove of - which ultimately takes a huge load off your mental to-do list. When meeting your child’s behavior with gratitude - “Thank you for helping me put on your shoes.” - you train your brain to see the family as a symbiotic group, as opposed to a team you have to manage, which is (a) more reflective of reality and (b) will only become more true as you and your children age.2
This week I’m writing about some specific language I recommend using with your child and with yourself about your writing. Consider this the briefest of tasting menus of possible word choice and, to reiterate, the point is not that you are wrong and bad if you use different words - it’s that using these words might shift your mindset to make both your relationship with your child and your writing practice easier and more joyful.
